Monday, May 19, 2008

To Good to Not Eat

The rest of the grey jay will follow shortly, but I thought it was time to engage in a quick little proof.

If one accepts as axiomatic that food exists to be eaten, then it follows from Article 4 that cake exists to be eaten. People often asks us how we can stand to cut up one of our cakes. Because we couldn't stand not to! A cake is one work of art that is not consummated until consumed.

Aside from not wanting to hurt an artwork, many people are understandably squeamish about chopping up charismatic megafauna. I am one of those of people and have had to learn to be brave. Here are several techniques that might help you get over this hurdle. Let me know of other techniques you have developed!
  • Make a conscious choice of which end to start cutting from. (Note that this may not correspond to your chocolate bunny-eating technique.) I, personally, am from the leave-the-head-till-last camp. However, it is equally valid to start with the head, so that the cake looks less like an animal right away and is thus easier to dissect.
  • Squint your eyes a bit so you can just see form and color. Ask your guests if they want white frosting or chocolate, or a little of both, and approach serving as a geometric puzzle.
  • Apply a judicious amount of alcohol--to yourself, that is. I can't recommend this approach because, if you don't judge the quantity perfectly, you are apt to veer from steeled nerves to maudlin sentimentality.
  • Frankly admit defeat and have someone else cut and plate the cake in another room. Invite enough guests so there won't be any carcass remaining.


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